Refusing to be sedentary artist: Art, fitness and A Tough Year, but Still Moving

A Tough Year, but Still Moving

This year has felt like one long endurance test. There were high points of course—my solo show being the best moment, a little bit of dating—but most of it has been marked by illness, vet visits, physio and scans for Ralph, and trying to keep going when everything felt heavier than usual.

Flu, Fatigue & Fizzling Romance

Westonbirt, The National Arboretum - I hadn’t been for 8 years, went on my 30th birthday. I took Ralph there for the first time while within that 3 month long dating , will definitely go by self (with Ralph) for a different experience once physio gives the all clear for longer walks.

Right after my solo show, I came down with a flu that hung around for twelve weeks. I barely felt human, not bad enough to be in bed for ll of it but worse enough to know about it. Dating took the last of my energy, and eventually both of us admitted the spark was never there. It ended kindly, but it added to the sense of depletion. That said I LOVE my life, I love the single life of not needing to ask permission and have my own space and Ralph time, who lets face it wouldn’t share me with anyone else (haven’t ever had another stay over night here)

Then summer continued: long, hot weeks and 6am walks because Ralph’s thick Pomsky undercoat meant anything later was too hot for him. Beautiful mornings, but caught up with you.

Ralph’s Diagnosis & Grooming Adventures

Somewhere in the middle of this, we got the scan that confirmed Ralph has hip dysplasia and early on set arthritis. He’s been frightened of the consultation roomette vets ever since(even though two entirely different vet buildings).

Then came the grooming saga. One day he simply refused to go in—front paws hugging my leg like a child not wanting to go to school, we kept a few more appointments brushing him outside but it didn’t improve. I moved him to a new groomer, we had our first one a few weeks ago, who phoned me three minutes after I drove awa to nearby cafe:

“He’s being VERY affectionate… but absolutely refusing the bath or for us to go near him.”

So back I went. Dog dad to the rescue, which made Ralph hopeful he was going home darting towards me and the door. He still avoided the muzzle turning head away but eventually—with reassurance, play, and timing—I got it on, lifted him, and he settled. Didnt growl being lifted, usually he does with anticipating its going to hurt. The lip of the electronic lowering bath, was only a few inches off the ground but he wouldn’t go in by himself. According to the groomer he behaved perfectly after that. Was tricky to leave him again but no more phone calls. Although unsure how he liked waiting in the crate area, he seemed to have coped find with it (he is crate trained but thats the his problems began with the previous family. He goes in crate to travel with dog walker but at home he free roams -(morning licks to wake me ups at 7:30)

He’s come such a long way from the overwhelmed, sceptical suspicious of everyone's motives rescue I first brought home (Sept 2023). We’ll see how he gets on in three months at the next groom.

Illness, Again

Eight more weeks of flu followed. Nearly half a year written off. No wonder everything feels disjointed. Went to doctors yesterday wondering if I had a secondary infection and if continuing to Walk Ralph was prolonging it too. Told going in right direction, walks will help and no secondary infection but given decongestion to help with the build up of the head cold.

Trying to Rebuild My Body (and My Habits)

salt, honey cinnamon and oats - will bake or less timeout the burnt crunch bits were nice nonetheless. With no sugar live cultures plain yogurt blueberries, raspberries and strawberries.

I want to improve my nutrition and return to CrossFit. I first started when I was 31; now at 38, after a long since having Ralph break, I feel slow and strange in my own skin. Fitness was always part of my identity—along side art, it was the thing that grounded me. Climbing, martial arts, then CrossFit. I miss feeling strong and blessed to move well (well within the joint issues that is, even with CrossFit had my limits and battled health fatigue daily).

It’s the habit that’s hard. Sugar is my new alcohol: once I start, I crave it daily. It’s easier to say “no” altogether than to moderate. And because I have zero motivation outside of art obsessive, I need group classes—structure, people, accountability, and the gentle pressure not to be the last one finishing. Being told what we’re doing that day.

I’m not chasing perfection; I just want to move well and feel more like me again. Even simple things feel harder than they used to. No judgement on those who happily enjoy the relaxed life, I wish I could but I am sure I'll come to enjoy the challenge of fitness once again once start. I had started din January but solo show then flu meant that got postponed and easy to just keep going. routine of what buy in supermarket and day to day life, have had to make a conscious decision make changes.

Money, Muscles & Starting From Scratch

Fitbit data from June 2023…stopped shortly before Sept 2023 when adopted Ralph.

I can’t afford a gym membership right really unless art picks up again, so returning depends partly on sales and spending less on art supplies, packaging and marketing. Before Ralph, before the first lockdown, I’d done my first ever muscle-up. Now I’m starting all over—new muscle memory - what worked before? get fitter to allow for it , new routine, and trying to fit it around a dog who used to exhaust me completely in those early months and who has extra needs such as physio and not being on his own too much.

But life with him is smooth now, and the days race by. I’m hopeful that carving out two or three evenings a week will be possible. I don’t need to become superhuman—just me, but consistent workouts even though I know I wont ever learn handstands, and certainly not handstand push ups or handstand walks. Well you never know but handstands are terrifying!, I somewhat managed them before until psychologically fearful, as have been know to collapse arms and crumple.

Food, Simplicity & Small Adjustments

I’ve already changed breakfast to homemade granola—less sugar, fewer quick fixes. I want to shift away from bread and daily peanut butter, toward simple food: meat, veg, fruit, spices, legumes. Nothing fancy, just choices that support rather than drain. Except I d find I have zero energy or executive function for coking these days, since rt, and Ralph commitments, and often the flat falls into disarray, can still want for it though . we shall see.

When the flu cold finally lifts, I’ll go back. Maybe even sooner, using exercise to push my system into gear, just got to time it at the right moment or risk getting worse. I’ve taken long breaks before, but I always returned after a month or two.

The Work That Holds Me

Upfest 2022 when I was still training in CrossFit 3-5 times a week, and the start to the attempt of my upfest artwork

The gift in all of this: even when I’m “off work,” I’m still working, because art is flexible like that. Ding a bit of admin, organising and idea scribbles but also settling down to documentaries and tv and rest. What I’m trying to learn is how to use slow periods well—updating the website, leaning into YouTube, connecting more openly without slipping into sales mode. Of course the Raven selling to alike minded person who saw my YouTube video means the world, more of those chance encounters!

I don’t want to be a salesperson. I want to be an artist sharing my work with the world. If people feel connected, the sales will come naturally, without having to close a sale but instead paint, put it out there, connect to people and if they wish to buy then they’ll make themselves known and a conversation of art na life will follow or not, but g home happy with art, not feeling like been “had” but been gifted and a part of the art journal I am bundling.

So here’s to more art while looking after one’s well being.